We Should on God – SHOULD HAPPENS – Part 4

The last should of them all …

This is why …
– The person you work with or your neighbor makes jokes, or is cynical about God.
– The person you go to school with says they are an atheist.
– Your husband, wife, brother or sister, aunt or uncle said “I’m out” and quit going to church.

It’s because at some point in life God did not act like we think He should.

Shoulding on God is not a religious thing.
It’s not a church thing.
It’s not a Christian thing.
It’s a human thing.

Everyone single person on this planet thinks they know how God “should” act.
If I do this … God will do this. It’s like He is required to do this if I do this and then He doesn’t.

And we “should” all over Him.

This message talks about how we can continue to trust God, even when we don’t understand or agree with God.

Others Should on Me – SHOULD HAPPENS – PART 3

Have you ever run out of gas in your car? You’re driving along – no problem and suddenly you’re about to be out of gas, or you are out of gas. Several years ago, I was driving my mobile office around Phoenix and I am not sure how it happened but at one moment the gas gauge read half full and just a minute later it was sitting on E.

Jetty – 1961 VW Bus / Mobile Office

My first tendency was to question the reading. This can’t be right, I was just half full a few minutes ago. How can I be on “E?” So, I ignored the reading for about 10 miles and the needle started to move below E! How can something be below E? Isn’t empty, empty? Well, to make a long story medium length … you can’t drive on “E” for long. 

Here is my question for you … have you ever run out of gas? Not in your car … but in life? Have you ever been at the place in your life where you have been going so hard for so long and doing so many things. You are caring for so many people and carrying so many other peoples burdens … that you are just running on empty? What about right now? 

Let’s say this gas gauge could register what’s in your heart, what’s it reading right now?  

Is it on “F” for full?  Or on “E” for empty? Or somewhere in-between?

If you are you less than half full and headed towards empty … what caused you to feel empty and out of gas? Maybe it was the unrealistic expectations put on you by others? 

The shoulds of others.

In this message we talk about how to kindly but confidently say “not now” to the shoulds of others. And begin to move from a should life to a good life.

OTHERS SHOULD ON ME – SHOULD HAPPENS – WEEK 3

I should on Others – SHOULD HAPPENS – PART 2

We know it’s normal and perfectly acceptable to have a job description at work? But have you ever thought about how you have secret job descriptions for pretty much everyone you meet? We have things that we expect “others” to do for us. And they are usually completely unaware of these expectations!

Here is the simple succession of how we should on others.

  1. We have secret job descriptions and expectations of other people.

2.    These people are completely unaware of our expectations of them.

3.    They quickly fail to meet our secret expectations.

4.    We get angry with them and should all over them.

In this message we dive into how We Should On Others. And we learn how we can should on others less and begin to move from a should life to a good life!

When we value people,

the way God values people, 

we should on people, less.

I should on myself – SHOULD HAPPENS – Part 1

Do you ever should on yourself?

I do.

I have shoulds that sit on my shoulder and constantly convene courtrooms in my mind. If I even think about saying “no” to someone who asks me to do something. I immediately put myself on trial and begin to present to myself evidence for all the reasons I should do what the person is asking me to do!

This message considers how we all live in the shoulds. And it gives us perspective on how to move from a should life to a good life!

“OTHERS SHOULD ON ME” – SHOULD HAPPENS – WEEK 3

Jetty 1961 VW Camper Bus

Have you ever run out of gas in your car? You’re driving along – no problem and suddenly you’re about to be out of gas, or you are out of gas. Several years ago, I was driving my mobile office around Phoenix and I am not sure how it happened but at one moment the gas gauge read half full and just a minute later it was sitting on E.

My first tendency was to question the reading. This can’t be right, I was just half full a few minutes ago. How can I be on “E?” So, I ignored the reading for about 10 miles and the needle started to move below E! How can something be below E? Isn’t empty, empty? Well, to make a long story medium length … you can’t drive on “E” for long. 

Here is my question for you … have you ever run out of gas? Not in your car … but in life? Have you ever been at the place in your life where you have been going so hard for so long and doing so many things. You are caring for so many people and carrying so many other peoples burdens … that you are just running on empty? What about right now? 

Let’s say this gas gauge could register what’s in your heart, what’s it reading right now?  

Is it on “F” for full?  Or on “E” for empty? Or somewhere in-between?

If you are you less than half full and headed towards empty … what caused you to feel empty and out of gas? Maybe it was the unrealistic expectations put on you by others? 

The shoulds of others.

In this message we talk about how to kindly but confidently say “not now” to the shoulds of others. And begin to move from a should life to a good life.

OTHERS SHOULD ON ME – SHOULD HAPPENS – WEEK 3

“I Should On Others” – SHOULD HAPPENS – WEEK 2

We know it’s normal and perfectly acceptable to have a job description at work? But have you ever thought about how you have secret job descriptions for pretty much everyone you meet? We have things that we expect “others” to do for us. And they are usually completely unaware of these expectations!

Here is the simple succession of how we should on others.

  1. We have secret job descriptions and expectations of other people.

2.    These people are completely unaware of our expectations of them.

3.    They quickly fail to meet our secret expectations.

4.    We get angry with them and should all over them.

In this message we dive into how We Should On Others. And we learn how we can should on others less and begin to move from a should life to a good life!

When we value people,

the way God values people, 

we should on people, less.

“I Should On Myself” – SHOULD HAPPENS – WEEK 1

Do you ever should on yourself?

I do.

I have shoulds that sit on my shoulder and constantly convene courtrooms in my mind. If I even think about saying “no” to someone who asks me to do something. I immediately put myself on trial and begin to present to myself evidence for all the reasons I should do what the person is asking me to do!

This message considers how we all live in the shoulds. And it gives us perspective on how to move from a should life to a good life!

The SHOULD HAPPENS book is available at all Parkview Christian Church campuses in Chicagoland this weekend.

And nationwide on Friday, September 27th!

THE SHOULDS ARE COMING – September 7th!!!

After nearly a decade of wrestling with the shoulds, I have spent the last 6 months writing SHOULD HAPPENS.

This is a human parable.

If you’re like most people, you live in the ‘should’s. You are constantly chained by ideas of how your life should be, of what you should accomplish, of what you should be better at. You may feel anxiety about not meeting your shoulds each and every day.

What if you could escape that anxiety.

In this book, we’ll follow Tom Should – a person very much like me, and perhaps you.

He’s paralyzed on a daily basis by his shoulds – the larger-than-life ideals imposed upon him. They make it impossible for him to relax and enjoy the life he has, because he’s constantly comparing himself to others, and imagining the life he thinks he should have.

We’ll follow Tom on his journey from a should life to a good life from resenting his life for all the ways it doesn’t meet his expectations, to embracing, enjoying, and treasuring the life he does have each and every day.

Letting loose of our shoulds is not easy. To many of us, it might feel like accepting the unacceptable, becoming less, giving up on our ideals, or thwarting our ambition. For that reason, we might never surrender our shoulds – until we see the power of doing so in action, through stories like Tom’s.

In this leadership parable, we’ll see how it’s possible to live our best lives in ways we never dreamed of. We just have to let go of many of our ‘shoulds.

Tom’s story appears religious at first. And in a way, it is. He suffers from the shoulds that many religious people experience – the shoulds of trying to live a perfect life.

But the process Tom goes through as he learns to love himself and his life is a process all of us go through, religious or not. This is a human parable. The shoulds are blind to age, ethnicity, income and gender and they represent a pressure that all people face. It’s a process of learning firsthand what is truly important – and seeing what you miss when you live in the shoulds.

I hope that this book will help everyone who reads it. I know writing it helped me.

SHOULD HAPPENS will be available on the weekend of September 7th / 8th. I will be at Parkview Christian Church in Chicagoland launching this SHOULD HAPPENS book and teaching series.

WorkJoy & Pancakes – The Personal Side

In part one of this article we realized there’s really no right or wrong way to eat a pancake.
There is not one side that tastes better.

Neither side of a pancake is more important.
Both sides matter.

Likewise, if one side gets burned it affects the taste of the other side.

It’s the same way when it comes to your work.

To experience joy at work there are two equally important sides.

You should make your work a better place,
and your workplace should make you a better person.

In part one of this article we considered how to evaluate if a person is making their workplace better. We looked at this subject from the perspective of the organization.

Today, we are taking a look at the personal side. We are going to discover several ways you can become a better person as you make your work a better place.

Here are three ways you can find value from the personal side of the work relationship:

  • Work in teams. This will make your product better.

It doesn’t matter what you are creating, a team will enable you and others to accomplish more with less stress (eventually) and in less time.

  • Work in strengths. This will make your potential better.

It doesn’t matter what you are creating or leading, if you create and lead from your strengths (delegating your weaknesses) you will produce better things, in less time and with less stress.

  • Work ahead. This will make your process better.

Good things happen in the margin. When you “work ahead” you make your career, calling, family, friendships and personal life taste better.

WorkJoy occurs when you add value to a place and that place adds value to you as a person.

Who you become is more important than what you do.

Decide today to strive for double-sided WorkJoy!

 

WorkJoy & Pancakes – The Organizational Side

What is your favorite breakfast food?
Mine is pancakes.

The reason is there’s really no right or wrong way to eat a pancake.
There is not one side that tastes better.

Neither side of a pancake is more important.
Both sides matter.

Likewise, if one side gets burned it effects the taste of the other side.
Again, both sides matter.

It’s the same way when it comes to our work.

To experience joy at work there are two equally important sides.

1. You should make your work a better place.
2. The work place should make you a better person.

You should add value to the business, non-profit endeavor or church.
And the business, non-profit endeavor or church should add value to you.

Often, we think about a single side of workjoy.

How does the employee add value to the organization?

This is obviously a critical component to staying employed and finding joy at work.

You have to work at work for things to work!

I work for a staffing firm called Slingshot Group. We help people build remarkable teams and here is a behind the scenes look at some of the criteria we use as we evaluate the value a person is adding to their organization.

  • Immediate chemistry

Would you rehire the same person today?

  • Team health

Does the candidate improve team dynamics?

Has the entire staff been positively affected by the candidate?

  • Individual contribution

Has the team member brought visible value beyond their role requirements?

  • Ministry momentum

Are there improved ministry area results under the candidates leadership?

Are new leaders being added to the candidates ministry area?

  • Organizational capacity

Does the candidate increase the energy level of the leadership team?

Does the candidate increase the influence of your church in general?

Has the candidate helped you gain new ground as an organization?

These are great questions you can ask when it comes to discerning value from the employer side of the relationship. However, the side of workjoy that often gets undervalued or burned. Is the personal, me side. In order to truly experience workjoy, it must be two sided.

You should make your work a better place
and your work place should make you a better person.

Here are several ways you can find value from an employee side of the relationship and experience and become a better person as you also create a better place.

  • Work in teams. This will make your product better. It doesn’t matter what you are creating a team will enable you and other to accomplish more, with less stress (eventually) and in less time.
  • Work in strengths. This will make your potential better. It doesn’t matter what your creating or leading if you create and lead from your strengths (delegating your weaknesses) you will produce better things, in less time and with less stress.
  • Work ahead. This will make your process better. Good things happen in the margin. When we “work ahead” we make our careers, calling, family, friendships and personal life taste better.

Workjoy occurs when we add value to a place and that place adds value to you as a person.

Who you become is more important than what you do.

Decide today to strive for double-sided workjoy!