I recently took three months away from the day to day to focus on the next decade.

My desire was to discover and adopt some new habits and rhythms to help me stay healthy in the next decade of life and leadership.

During this sabbatical season there was one book that I kept returning to over and over. Indeed I read and re-read this book 2-3 times! If you are in a transition season of life … especially moving from your first curve, 30-50’s, to your second curve, 50-80’s, I HIGLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK.

From Strength to Strength – Arthur C. Brooks

Here are a few learnings and thoughts to wet your appetite for this read.

“My Olympic self will ruin my marriage and leave my kids feeling inadequate. Living life as if every day is an Olympics only makes those around me miserable.” Dominque Dawes – Olympic Gold Athlete

My learning is there must be a pace to life and not every day can be the Olympics.

Jumping from the first curve to the second curve of life is so satisfying, but not simple. Brooks calls out three forces holding you back from jumping into the second curve … they are your addiction to work and success, your attachment to worldly rewards and your fear of decline. In the next pages Brooks unpacks the remedy to these road blocks. To make the second curve even better than the first he says … develop your relationships, start your spiritual journey, and embrace your weaknesses.

My learning is simply that the second curve can be even better than the first if I accept reality and relocate energies.

“I’d prefer to be special rather than happy.” This is a life altering theme throughout the book for self proclaimed high achievers, Enneagram 3’s and Type A’s! Brooks talks bout how we objectify others, but we also objectify ourselves. Here are his words … My financier friend objectified herself to be special, with a self definition that revealed around work, achievement, worldly rewards and pride. Even though that object was slowly eroding, she was too attached to her worldly success to make the changes that could now bring her happiness. She was ADDICTED – to work and, underneath that, to success. Like all addictions, these dehumanized her. She saw herself not as a full person but rather more like a high performance machine – or perhaps one that used to be high performance but was now showing some wear and tear.”

This is my transition … People who chose being special over healthy are addicts.

And my realization …. Eventually all that is left for the work-a-holic is work.

“We become card board cut outs of real people.” Brooks

Pride, fear and embarrassment are all tangled up in each other. It’s hard to have one without the others. Brooks talks much about how self objectification leads to pride. And how pride is often highlighted as a good thing in our modern world, all the while pride is more accurately what can destroy us from the inside out.

Thomas Aquinas called pride … an excessive desire for ones own excellence, leading to misery.

“Pride is sneaky: it hides inside good things.” Arthur Brooks

I came to realize that fear is a friend of pride and embarrassment is a brother.

90% of CEO’s admit that fear of failure keeps them up at night more than any other concern.

Disgrace also travels in this band of brother.

My learning … a perfectionist can provide a body where many of these traits bunk.

Many perfectionists consider themselves different, with higher standards, capabilities and achievements. They are, in short, better. And the idea failing or falling behind brings a sense of panic.

Again my learning … consider others better.

Philippians 2:3-4 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4 Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing.