We Should on God – SHOULD HAPPENS – Part 4

The last should of them all …

This is why …
– The person you work with or your neighbor makes jokes, or is cynical about God.
– The person you go to school with says they are an atheist.
– Your husband, wife, brother or sister, aunt or uncle said “I’m out” and quit going to church.

It’s because at some point in life God did not act like we think He should.

Shoulding on God is not a religious thing.
It’s not a church thing.
It’s not a Christian thing.
It’s a human thing.

Everyone single person on this planet thinks they know how God “should” act.
If I do this … God will do this. It’s like He is required to do this if I do this and then He doesn’t.

And we “should” all over Him.

This message talks about how we can continue to trust God, even when we don’t understand or agree with God.

Others Should on Me – SHOULD HAPPENS – PART 3

Have you ever run out of gas in your car? You’re driving along – no problem and suddenly you’re about to be out of gas, or you are out of gas. Several years ago, I was driving my mobile office around Phoenix and I am not sure how it happened but at one moment the gas gauge read half full and just a minute later it was sitting on E.

Jetty – 1961 VW Bus / Mobile Office

My first tendency was to question the reading. This can’t be right, I was just half full a few minutes ago. How can I be on “E?” So, I ignored the reading for about 10 miles and the needle started to move below E! How can something be below E? Isn’t empty, empty? Well, to make a long story medium length … you can’t drive on “E” for long. 

Here is my question for you … have you ever run out of gas? Not in your car … but in life? Have you ever been at the place in your life where you have been going so hard for so long and doing so many things. You are caring for so many people and carrying so many other peoples burdens … that you are just running on empty? What about right now? 

Let’s say this gas gauge could register what’s in your heart, what’s it reading right now?  

Is it on “F” for full?  Or on “E” for empty? Or somewhere in-between?

If you are you less than half full and headed towards empty … what caused you to feel empty and out of gas? Maybe it was the unrealistic expectations put on you by others? 

The shoulds of others.

In this message we talk about how to kindly but confidently say “not now” to the shoulds of others. And begin to move from a should life to a good life.


I should on Others – SHOULD HAPPENS – PART 2

We know it’s normal and perfectly acceptable to have a job description at work? But have you ever thought about how you have secret job descriptions for pretty much everyone you meet? We have things that we expect “others” to do for us. And they are usually completely unaware of these expectations!

Here is the simple succession of how we should on others.

  1. We have secret job descriptions and expectations of other people.

2.    These people are completely unaware of our expectations of them.

3.    They quickly fail to meet our secret expectations.

4.    We get angry with them and should all over them.

In this message we dive into how We Should On Others. And we learn how we can should on others less and begin to move from a should life to a good life!

When we value people,

the way God values people, 

we should on people, less.

I should on myself – SHOULD HAPPENS – Part 1

Do you ever should on yourself?

I do.

I have shoulds that sit on my shoulder and constantly convene courtrooms in my mind. If I even think about saying “no” to someone who asks me to do something. I immediately put myself on trial and begin to present to myself evidence for all the reasons I should do what the person is asking me to do!

This message considers how we all live in the shoulds. And it gives us perspective on how to move from a should life to a good life!

THE SHOULDS ARE COMING – September 7th!!!

After nearly a decade of wrestling with the shoulds, I have spent the last 6 months writing SHOULD HAPPENS.

This is a human parable.

If you’re like most people, you live in the ‘should’s. You are constantly chained by ideas of how your life should be, of what you should accomplish, of what you should be better at. You may feel anxiety about not meeting your shoulds each and every day.

What if you could escape that anxiety.

In this book, we’ll follow Tom Should – a person very much like me, and perhaps you.

He’s paralyzed on a daily basis by his shoulds – the larger-than-life ideals imposed upon him. They make it impossible for him to relax and enjoy the life he has, because he’s constantly comparing himself to others, and imagining the life he thinks he should have.

We’ll follow Tom on his journey from a should life to a good life from resenting his life for all the ways it doesn’t meet his expectations, to embracing, enjoying, and treasuring the life he does have each and every day.

Letting loose of our shoulds is not easy. To many of us, it might feel like accepting the unacceptable, becoming less, giving up on our ideals, or thwarting our ambition. For that reason, we might never surrender our shoulds – until we see the power of doing so in action, through stories like Tom’s.

In this leadership parable, we’ll see how it’s possible to live our best lives in ways we never dreamed of. We just have to let go of many of our ‘shoulds.

Tom’s story appears religious at first. And in a way, it is. He suffers from the shoulds that many religious people experience – the shoulds of trying to live a perfect life.

But the process Tom goes through as he learns to love himself and his life is a process all of us go through, religious or not. This is a human parable. The shoulds are blind to age, ethnicity, income and gender and they represent a pressure that all people face. It’s a process of learning firsthand what is truly important – and seeing what you miss when you live in the shoulds.

I hope that this book will help everyone who reads it. I know writing it helped me.

SHOULD HAPPENS will be available on the weekend of September 7th / 8th. I will be at Parkview Christian Church in Chicagoland launching this SHOULD HAPPENS book and teaching series.

Pitfalls Of A Second Hand Faith.

Do you ever wonder if God actually exists? I do. And pretty much every person I have ever met has questions about the existence of God.

What happens when we question the existence of God is we question the “view” or “version” of God that we grew up with.

When people lose faith and decide to leave God behind what we are really leaving is the “version” of God we grew up with. So, here is a fair question …

Who handed you, your view of God?

How do you know what you know about God?

Was it your parents, pastor or favorite author? If so, that is great and can be an amazing gift to your life. But when everything we know about God comes to us from someone else … we are in danger of carrying a surrogate or second hand faith.

Surrogate” – DEF: substitute, replacement, stand in

A surrogate is a person who carries something for another person. 

How do we move from a surrogate or second hand faith to a place where we own our own faith?

This is what we strive to uncover as we dive into in this message from Parkview Christian Church in Chicagoland.